?

Log in

No account? Create an account

January 2009

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
Powered by LiveJournal.com

woah.

 i haven't written in 3 weeks.
what is wrong with me?
well...
taylor cried today.
she actually cried in from of me.
i can honestly say, i've never seen her cry.
it made me think.
i am always there for my friends when their bummed out.
because i know how much i hate feeling like that.
but for once i want someone to be there for me
like i am for them.
so what.
im going to be selfish about this one thing.
i always think about others first.
and i think its time i started thinking about tara.

even the other day in track.
when i fell over the hurdle and then 
i was sucking at practicing our handoffs.
i even said to taylor i just feel like crying right now.
im not sad, mad, i just want to cry.
i think thats what makes me, tara.
i build up all these emotions, feelings, and thoughts.
and then i just break down.

i was even beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin.
until...
the other day i tried on a bikini for the first
time in my life.
and boy was i right.
they are not for me.
but im trying.
im sick of saying this.
im gonna do it.
im gonna look the way i want.
im sick of telling myself im going to do it.
i need to put my words into actions.
now.

i may go run.
i need my ipod.
i need to chill.
bye :)
 

Comments